This Slow Burn is Slowly but Surely and It's Not Slowly Burning Me

Just like what Kacey Musgraves sang on her song titled Slow Burn, "I know a few things, but I still got a lot to learn," I'm tattooing that lyric on my brain like I mean it.

Each time I tell my dad about my journey, he always says, "This is already enough for someone who learns," hence why I believe that if authors could write romance stories with a slow burn trope, I could write the story of my life with the same trope too.

Throughout my whole life, I never really knew who I would become because... You know, I'm not the type of person who knew from the start what I would do. Well I guess I'll just keep on trying. At least my dad promised me that I'm going somewhere, even though I don't know where to go... Yet.

During my school days, I was always in a hurry, expecting the result to come quickly, as if there was no time left. As I grow older (hopefully wiser too), I realize that I have a lifetime to learn, so why would I go in a rush anyway? That reflection makes me start to enjoy my learning process patiently, then put this in my mind, "I can always learn from everything, even the little ones, those are matters to me."

The complexity of human emotion makes it difficult to distinguish admiration from jealousy. I aspired to be as cool as the other girls, but I ended up comparing myself with them. And it was unfair! Because why would I compare an apple with a pear? Why would I equate two or more human beings with different backgrounds? If someone else is happy, then good for them. I can create my own version of happiness too.

So when I enter a new room where the chair makes me uncomfortable, where the people are smarter and they make me question my own ability... I find out that this room isn't supposed to show who I already am, but to accompany who I will be. I look dumb—I even look lost, but who cares about that when it's good for the sake of my growth? Because being new and still shows up, having the desire to learn, and not being ashamed of asking for guidance, means that I earn my place there. I might walk slowly, but I do that so I have enough energy to keep walking.