The End of the F***ing World is the End of My Teenage Life

Hiya. I wanna talk about my all-time favourite series, The End of the F***ing World (2017-2019). I watch this series for like... Seven times, I suppose? When I’m a high schooler, I always go back to this series each time I’m depressed. It feels like a comfort show at some point. A bit fucked up, innit?

In case you haven’t watched it yet, The End of the F***ing World tells a story about a rebellious 17 year-old, Alyssa (Jessica Barden) who runs away with a random boy she sees at school, James (Alex Lawther). He’s willing to go out with her because he has the intention to murder her, but they soon develop feelings for each other. Later on, we find out that both of the main characters have trauma issues from their pasts.

The point I’m about to write down in this text is that some watchers say Alyssa would be so unlikeable in real life. But I think that’s what happens when you’re a misunderstood teenager. Like she said in the seventh episode of season two, “I don’t know, we were 17.” Because can you blame people for having no idea what’s going on in their lives, though?

She’s misunderstood because she doesn’t have a father figure. Her biological father is shit, so is her step father. Her mother misunderstood her as well, always using white lies to make Alyssa feel better. When in fact, it only makes her feel worse. Alyssa is unseen throughout her whole life.

Yeah she’s horrible, but I could never really hate Alyssa because I somehow see my teenage self in her. Weirdos only look cool and accepted in movies, that’s why I feel like the high schooler me would’ve worked as a fictional character. I’m better off as a concept rather than a human being. High school is the time when I fucked up the most. I don’t think people like me that much during that era. I even yell harshly at them because they annoy the hell outta me. It’s not like I regret doing that, no. I mean they’re dickheads, and maybe I’m one too! But as I look back to that moment... Is it necessary for me to be mean? Just like Alyssa, how can I communicate my feeling nicely to people, when I don’t even understand myself?

I could see me in James’ character too, the similarity I have in him is being emotion less. In the third episode of season one, James says, “Being with Alyssa has started to make me feel things, I don’t like it at all.” Because when you’re a cold-hearted bitch whose soul is made of stone, you’re used of good at feeling nothing. So when you catch yourself feeling a real emotion, you go like, “What the fuck?!”

James is feeling empty because his dad just exists, but he’s not present. Can you tell the difference? When someone exists, they’re just there, but they don’t do anything to understand you. But when someone is present, they’re there, they also see you for who you are. James’ dad acknowledges his wife’s suicide, but he doesn’t recognize the trauma James is facing. He exists to be James’ dad, but he’s not present to help his son heal. Being a smily man is one thing, but he becomes a toxic positivity person at this point.

Now let’s talk about the other character from season two, Bonnie (Naomi Ackie). I feel sorry for her. Yeah she’s creepy and all, but she’s that obsessive because she doesn’t know how actual love feels like. The problem about people who have lack of love is being obsessed of love. They can’t differentiate love and obsession because when they’re affected by a manipulator, someone finally notice them, so they think the affection is called real love when it isn’t.

I already graduate a couple years from high school, it’s been a while since I don’t touch this series. Now that I rewatch it again, I’m in the situation when I watch The End of the F***ing World not because I’m depressed (thank God), but because I just miss my babies. And it feels like a circle moment! Clive (Jonathan Aris) is a philosophy professor, and I’m a philosophy student now! So when he mentions Foucault and Sartre in his class... Whew, I actually know these guys! (How do you feel when you know references without having to Google them lol).

I’m younger than 19 when I watch this series for the very first time. Alyssa and James are 19 in the second season. I’m glad that Alyssa realises there’s something wrong with her and she needs psychological help. I go to therapy at the age of 19 too, what a coincidence! I’m not asking Netflix to make the third season for this show, I just ask for a bonus episode of Alyssa and James’ therapy session. Would’ve been interesting to see how these traumatised bitches cope with their pain.

What I like about The End of the F***ing World is the characters’ voice-over narration, we understand them deeply because of that. I also love that Alyssa and James dress in average clothes (they’re just like me fr). They’re awkwardly in love, it’s so cute lol. I also want to mention how good the soundtracks are and the locations where they filmed. I’ve always wanted to have a road trip with someone or a small group of friends, then we grow closer along the way. This series strengthens my want to have one (except for the crime scene). By the way, I get the picture above from Pinterest!