I watch (500) Days of Summer a little too much until I get sick of it.

Some people say (500) Days of Summer—released in 2009—is an overrated movie. Every month, they debate endlessly about which one is wrong: Tom or Summer? As someone who walked in Tom’s shoes for three times, lemme talk about this topic.

I first watched this movie when I was 14 because I was looking for a RoMcOm MoViE. Who would’ve thought this movie would hit me right after I experienced my first-ever connection with a guy? Honestly, my first Summer didn’t go that deep. But because it was my first connection, it took me two fucking years to finally let go. And that’s the thing: connection.

Connection is the feeling when someone ties their string to yours, but the question is: does every string need to be tied?

Back to my 14-year-old experience. Like most people, after watching (500) Days of Summer for the first time, I got mad at Summer—until I read several analyses. Guess what? This movie changed my life, literally. I learned a different kinda point of view that when you love someone, you gotta understand their side too.

Like I said—although my first Summer didn’t go that deep, the lesson is still relevant until three years later. It’s proof that (500) Days of Summer is a classic movie—despite being “overrated.”

When I was 16, I was walking in Tom’s shoes (again). Different guy, same old shit. It got more relatable and I saw the pattern. Because the more I watch, the more I learn.

Here I was, at 17, relating to Tom for the third time. You're probably wondering, “So you haven’t learned your lesson yet?” And I admit it myself that yes, I haven’t learn my lesson. This shit would be the last time, at the very least.

You thought you had a connection with the one you thought you love, but because your life is pathetic—you depend your happiness on them. They’re not that good, but the ideal version of them that you make in your head makes them look good. That’s why you think they’re “the one” when they’re not. Their benefit is to fulfill the emptiness in your heart, that’s all.

You can blame them all you want, but aren’t you tired of being stupid? Yes, they’re careless because they thought what they did wouldn’t make you fall that hard, but on the other hand—you have your own fault too for allowing yourself to be stupid.

You blame them for flirting you, but aren’t you the one who’s craving for attention? You blame them for not filling your expectation, but aren’t you the one who’s hoping? You blame them for making you sad, but aren’t you the one who depends your happiness on them?

Just, you know what? Stop it. You can be close with someone, but please think of yourself first. Maybe it’s just you and your delulu if you think it’s their responsibility to make you theirs so you two are more than friends.

At the age of 18, I watched (500) Days of Summer for the last time (I don’t know if I will watch this movie again in the future, I hope I don’t). And I'm kinda sick of it—sick of myself for having another bad luck. Although it got sicker, at least I learned one important lesson. I used to think Autumn as someone new is “the one” (finally Tom can pull a bitch after Summer dumped him), but I just realized that the point of Autumn is—Autumn isn’t “the one,” she’s just another version of Summer. The cycle would repeat itself if you keep thinking that way.

I know I’m talking shit since I never dated anyone in my entire life BECAUSE I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A TOM. But I just hope that with this contemplation, I’d never meet different version(s) of Summer again. And you too! I hope someday you find someone to love—like, really love. Not just the idea of it.